No. I won't tell you all my problems face to face. Why should I? Shuwei is the only one who is able to accept me for who I am, no matter what I become. She, ironically, do not read blogs. I cannot keep secrets from her. For one simple reason: she can see through my every act. And for that, I give her my trust. How many people can you see who click so well that you know exactly what they are thinking? Shuwei and I kept saying same words at the same time. Do you do so with someone else?

I don't deny that I am on the prowl for friends. It has been since the start of the year. But I haven't found someone who is like Syafiqah or Shuwei in my class. I don't request for their personalities. I request for acceptance. I can make friends easily if I know for sure that you are interested in what I am going to share. I have been ignored for (god-knows) how many times this year - by my class only. I hit it off with a total stranger recently. Past, present, inspiration...told her everything. And she told me hers. And we can talk as well as how I talk to someone like Shuwei or Siya. And she exists in MJC. I have met a lot of people and they had never "dao-ed" me like my current class do. Of course, I know when I can get ignored, when it is time for talk and work.

Even today, Joshua and Zhi Wei just walked off without telling me that they are going for the chemistry thing. Ok. Do they hate me? Or did they just forget? So I've become a "forgetable". That might hurt a little, but if you want me to close my heart to all of you, I really can. I can carry out my duties as a treasurer, but other than that, I can be totally unlaughing. I have experienced worse experiences than this. So I know that I can achieve the ultimate solution of not getting hurt. The marginal benefit might not even cover the marginal cost. For now, I shall just laugh it off, no problem. But there is a line to this.

Will anyone notice if I am missing? With the exception of the girls...I think no one in the class will guess where I am correctly. With the exception of the girls, no one will ask me where I am either.

Nice going. It is eleven now. But yea, who knows, I might commit the same mistake as some people. And those who initially ignored me are really nice people I know. Why, is making friends so difficult? I think I am trying too hard now.

Life is so unfair. I should change my perspective on friends in the class. Now, listen up, people. If you don't really like me a lot, tell me. Don't ignore me for no reason. Then I can ignore you too and we'll not waste each other's time in bonding. Joshua is a pretty lost case now. I feel that I am making myself look stupid by trying to keep intiating conversation with him when he can do so himself. And as for the other guys, with the exception of Wei Xiang, Andrew, Alvin, Nic, Sidney, Chun Kiat maybe even Zhiwei, I think I have never had a real conversation with you before, online or otherwise.

And even for the people listed, I've never talked very much to them. Highest converstaion: Andrew, Nic and Alvin. And Sidney is because of project work.